Apart from losing who i am, one of the things that really scares me is losing the inner child that i have. Growing up in the era of 90’s when any traits outside of the norm is frowned upon (obvs, being introverted), i’ve been chided to act mature as i entered a pre-teen stage. Chided, rebuked, chastised, and being compared to countless times . And the sad part is i have no idea what being mature means.
What does it mean to be mature, exactly?
Comparing to other girls that do so in front of others doesn’t help me and read that i said in front – since there’s always a chance lurking behind that the person that you see may be a setann at the back.
I’ve seen it, i heard it, so yeah there’s a chance. Bukan sekadar nak kondem atau berburuk sangka. But at the expense of who i am that i need to be molded according to what the society expects.
Is it all bad? Not really, some of it are good and should be practised when interacting with others but when you made a mistake/doing something that’s not what they expected and kena marah macam kita confirm masuk neraka tu…
Agak-agaklah.
Why?
Because for my story, it’s my inner child. The curiosity and wonder to what i see – the very thing that i don’t want to lose it no matter how old i’d be.
It’s the inner child that takes me to get amazed and be grateful with what the world has to offer, to see how the universe (both physics and meta of it) right to the quarks of the atom.
*sorry for the quantum mechanics references but do read the logo at the top and you’ll see why 😛
The key question right here:
that condemning others just because a couple of traits that not preposterous but instead an interesting doorway or perhaps merely a passing eccentricity is never good.
You might lose the opportunity to be a better person and in turn for a better civilization, or worse lose the person itself, as the robot you’re molded them to be.
Case in point
Ada story engineer proton yang reka pelbagai inovasi dan submit ke kepala proton only to be stopped and let down. Sebab tak pernah dibuat orange katanga, atau (paling popular) apa orang kata. Sudahnya jurutera tu berhenti dan balik kampung di kedah.
Berapa lama proton making jatuh that even nak conquer market small cars pun tak boleh lawan perodua? Sampai geely beli baruuu naik sekarang ni.
Tu dia, sampai memang kena dengar cakap orang luar dah. Itu lah akibatnya.
Dan takda beza dengan anak yang dipaksa belajar sekian2 sebab bidang tu lebih berpotensi gaji tinggi (senang buat loan) walaupun anak tak minat benda tu. Seksa juga nak memaksa diri hadam dan faham sesuatu yang bukan minatnya. Samada waktu kerjanya stress, atau tak dipenuhi potensinya.
Kuncinya di sini, selagi minat tu tak bercanggah takda salahnya. Kita tak tahu minat pelik (pada pandangan orang tu) mungkin berpotensi menjadi sumber rezeki yang kita pun boleh nikmati. Mana tahu kan tu asbab allah ilhamkan minat mcm tu dekat dia.
Instead nak kata minat tu takda masa depan tak terjamin mcm dah selak lauh mahfuz tahu ending kehidupannya. Alahai….
Because i’ve been there. And it hurts. Only now, perhaps Allah bagi jalan untuk kita nak redeem balik ganti masa yang hilang. So ok lah kan. And i’m very grateful that i don’t lose and forgot my strength and weaknesses so i can move quickly.
Yang masih belum, atau dalam hidup dia takda lagi peluang tu bagaimana pula kan. Jadi yang menyekat sebegitu hentikan ajalah. Biar mereka tanya terus kepada yang mengetahui untuk tunjuk arah mana dia boleh pergi.
Simple kan?
Jika tak bercanggah, biarkan jika tak mampu nak galakkan. Jangan jadikan had paradigma kita yang ada, hadkan paradigma orang lain pula.
